A Dulin Thanksgiving

Wednesday, 11.25.09: Utilize male teenager to clean house. Bake 48 blueberry muffins. Prepare green bean bake, mashed potatoes, cornbread and cranberry stuffing, regular Stove Top stuffing, rolls, and cranberry sauce. Set the table. Utilize female teenager to be sous chef and dish washing point person. Clean house some more!

Thursday, 11.26.09:
5:15 am - Wake-up, gather family and head to Raleigh Rescue Mission.

6:00 am - Serve 50 residents 3 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, 48 blueberry muffins, 4 gallons of milk, 3 gallons of OJ, massive bags of cereal, 60 bagels (plain, everything, cinnamon raisin), and 4 packs of cream cheese. Teenagers were sleepy but had generally good attitudes. Also assisted "Chef" with preparing some of the Thanksgiving dinner expected to feed 800 people across the city of Raleigh!!

9:00 am - Return home with leftover Krispy Kreme donuts and bagels! Male teen resumes sleeping. Final prepping for various dishes.

10:00 am - Put 13 lbs. turkey in the oven. Get snacks ready. Take a quick 20 minutes to lay down and recover rest time.

11:00 am - Get dressed. Get pretty. Smell nice.

12:00 - Danny's parents arrive.

2:00 pm - Sit down for Thanksgiving dinner. Terrific turkey, AMAZING cornbread and cranberry dressing (chestnuts totally worth it!!), warm and loving conversation and fellowship.

This was Danny's parents' first visit with us and it was very meaningful for all. I was glad to host them especially since they have 4 other children they could have spent Thanksgiving with and chose to spend it with us. Danny's mom is battling lung cancer (going on 1.5 years now) and no one takes for granted the time we all spend together.

As I spent my first Thanksgiving without both my parents, I will admit it was difficult. I have found my heart grieving a lot despite the many distractions. I have found myself in tears in an odd place of feeling the loss and desire to be near something that could make me closer to them. But grief and heartache are just that and no grave site, or urn, or house will make me closer to two people I will not see in this lifetime again. I struggle with the joy and blessing of my Dulin life and the sadness of the loss of my Snead life. I think there still remains a little girl in me that simply cries out: "I miss my Mommy! I miss my Daddy!"

But what hurts you is also what should make you be grateful for what brings you joy. Cliche but true. I have a tremendous amount to be thankful for. Hope your Thanksgiving was special.

Chestnuts

I will be making a cornbread and cranberry dressing for Thanksgiving dinner. Its a delicious Williams-Sonoma recipe with chestnuts.

Last year I bought fresh ones and roasted them. MMMM, they totally remind me of my mom. She loved to boil them. If you've never had them, they have a consistency of a cooked potato (a little harder) and they are mild and sweet.

Anyway, my recipe calls for a jar of French chestnuts. Huh? Well, okay. So I headed to the hoity toity Harris Teeter. So I ask the lady at the customer service desk. She kindly brought be over to the canned WATER chestnuts.

Ah, nice. No, we are not making chicken chow mein, sista.

Well, turns out they didn't have the ones in a jar because they were "seasonal" and don't stock them until closer to Christmas. Huh? Isn't Thanksgiving pretty seasonal? So the guy helping me says I should just use fresh ones. Then I say, but it says "French" chestnuts. Does that make a difference? He says, no because all chestnuts are of French origin. Oh, okay. So I head over to the produce isle to get the fresh chestnuts. They have Italian chestnuts. Are you kidding?

Is That Yo-Yo Ma playing?

To God Be the Glory

There are those of you who know me recently and for you, Lauren was just part of the package. A package that was growing in intellect, creativity and spiritually.

But for those of you who have known me almost all my life, you have been witnessed to a child conceived out of wedlock and born of a mother who in her youth was foolish and selfish and could not possibly understand the redemptive love of Christ. You have seen the very hand of God, grow and bless in the life of Lauren in ways that only His loving, compassionate and goodness can.

Today as I reflect Lauren turning 18 -- legally an adult, I am humbled beyond words. Which one of us, who were there the day I found out I was pregnant and then the day she was born could have planned the steps of her life to where it is today? Her young life has seen its share of undeserved heartache at the hands of her selfish parents, but her God would not let that go to waste. He would protect her, ensuring that she would know Him personally.

I am so profoundly grateful to many of you who have faithfully prayed for me and for my daughter over the last 18 years. Many of you who loved her, cared for her, babysat her, encouraged her, taught her and helped me to raise her.

I remember after she was born and I was nursing her, I thought, "What in the world will God do with us? What could our lives possibly amount to?" She may not be the person I thought she was going to be, but she is exactly who she should be. And it is far beyond what I could have accomplished. She is a young woman who knows and loves the Lord Jesus.

Happy Birthday, Lauren.

Lump Eck Toe Me #3

Yesterday, I had my third minor surgery on my left breast. It was the exact same procedure that was done as seen in my post here last year. The reason for the surgery is the same as last time; the test results from a biopsy showed "abnormal" cells. In fact my surgeon said she would be okay if I opted to forego the surgery, but still recommended it as a super precautionary thing.

Danny and I decided we'd better go for it. We are at an "easy" time in our lives and have good health insurance and he has the flexibility to care for me (just like last year). Plus this gives me a legitimate reason to pop percocet.

I knew God was going to get me thru just fine when my surgeon showed up in a UNC surgical cap (GO TARHEELS!). Then she asked if I wanted snickers or a kit kat after surgery. I love that Dr.!

Since I knew I wouldn't be able to wash my hair until Sunday or Monday, I made sure to wash and fix it Thursday night. I had several nurses tell me how pretty my hair was when they prepped me yesterday. Then I felt embarassed wondering if they thought I did my hair for the surgery. Vanity is a curse. And if for some reason I didn't make through surgery, it was probably important I still looked good, ..... well dead.

Surgery is so weird especially when they start to anesthetize you. This is my memory of it all. Danny was in the pre-op room with me. We were saying good bye as they administered the "I don't care juice" in my IV. The nurse said to Danny, "It will hit her in about 30 seconds when we go around the corner." And it did. But I was fighting it trying to concentrate on the signs I was passing as they rolled me to the operating room. I was trying to focus on the lights in the ceiling and convincing myself, "I'm okay."

The operating room was cold and everyone seemed in a good mood. It felt like they threw my body from the bed to the operating table with ease. There was a Lionel Ritchie song on and my surgeon commented on it and I remember saying, "Hey, I have this on my iPod." To which she retorted,"We played it just for you." And that was the last thing I remembered.

I slept on and off yesterday and was fairly comfortable. Today, the pain is noticable but I'm not in any major pain this morning. I have been surviving on Tylenol because I ended up throwing up my dinner last night. Probably due to the anesthetisia, but it could be percocet related too.
BTW, percocet makes you constipated. And even as I type this, Danny handed me some prunes, a metamucil cracker and water. I feel so sexy.

Thank You

Thank you to the men and women who have and do serve our great country. I am often saddened that as each new generation emerges, they seem less and less aware and down right ungrateful for the sacrifices our military men and women have made. I am saddened that there are men and women who have spent their entire lives serving our nation with integrity, and yet there is a generation of younger military service people who do not hold to living their lives with all the honor of this calling. I don't mean to sound like an old foggie!

Mostly I want to take a moment to honor my Danny for his 20 years of service to your country first as a marine and then in the Army National Guard. He served in two peacekeeping deployments: 1 in Bosnia and the 2nd in Kosovo. Even though they were peacekeeping missions, they were considered combat zones.

He will credit the military for many good things in his life and how it has shaped him as a man, father and leader. He has always served with enthusiasm and a deep respect for his responsibilities even though it took him away from his family.

One of the things I think is cool is how his service has affected Lauren. Because of Danny's example, she initiates thanking military personnel we might see in public.

We need to be raising a generation who fear and love the Lord, but who also honor and respect our military.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

Friday night there was a first in the Dulin/Bullock household. A teenage boy invited by Lauren came over for dinner to meet her family and then ask for permission to date her. His name is Elliot. Although the two of them had started their "romance" weeks ago, they were committed to not being "official" until Danny and I met and approved of him.

His parents dropped him off around 4:30. His dad driving the mini-van with his two younger siblings watching while his mother (a stay at home full-time mom/wife) accompanied him to the door. I'm not sure who was more nervous Elliot, Lauren or ME!

After simple introductions and light pleasantries, Elliot and Lauren went for a walk. BamBam was their chaperon. By the time they got back, Danny was home and chit chatted awhile as I prepared dinner. Elliot was nervous, sure but had a surprisingly mature, quiet confidence about him. This was a young man who had nothing to hide and was up for the task of "dealing" with Danny and I because he knew perfectly well Lauren was worth it and he is interested in honoring her. What a breath of fresh air!

Dinner was pleasant and where the real "grilling" began. Elliot was respectful and polite, with a laid back laugh. Danny was not shy about our expectations of how he expected Elliot to treat Lauren but also be responsible for leading Lauren. "So, Elliot, you already know Lauren has a phone curfew of 10 pm. I expect you to take the lead in making sure you both honor that."

We have been praying with Lauren about her heart and God's leading in this relationship. Sure, it could last all of 4 months, but all things are a training ground. We have told Lauren how excited we are about this season in her life with Elliot, but reminded her that we are just as responsible for training her as we are in our contact with Elliot training HIM as well.

After dinner, we headed downtown to the Krispy Kreme for free donuts because of the A's Lauren got on her report card. Then we headed to enjoy various art galleries. Elliot is quite the sport as he is a science/math guy who is not so artsy fartsy. He had good company with Danny :) After that, we came back home and the 4 of us hung out watching TV until Elliot's dad picked him up around 10. A good night was had by all! The momentous moment was when Lauren and Elliot were on the couch and changed their "status" on Facebook.

Top 10 Reasons We Approve of Elliot:

1. He claims to be a Christian and seems to come from a God fearing home.
2. He comes from an intact family that focuses on family --- they spend a lot of time together, and as older brother he seems to love and nurture his siblings.
3. He is very smart and extremely well spoken! We're talking Lauren kinda smart! This boy did two summer internships at Duke in a cancer research lab!
4. He has his priorities in place. When he and Lauren "knew" they "liked" each other, he told Lauren that he had to get his college applications done first before he could invest in time in a relationship.
5. He has such a security about who he is --- not because he is cocky or full of pride, but simply as a result of child with good, family upbringing. He is secure in who he is because he knows he is well loved and supported at home and seems to understand the importance of the authority of his parents in his life. He is not anxious to leave the nest or be independent of them unnecessarily.
6. He knows how to just "deal" with that Lauren streak of humor/sarcasm (yes, she gets it from me). He is laid back.
7. He is kind and not embarrassed to affirm her in front of us.
8. He likes sports but isn't a crazy fanatic fan who HAS to watch the game. He was a high level belt in Tai Kwon Do so he's not a pansy boy :)
9. He dresses well. No baggy pants down the butt cheeks. Very preppy.
10. Finally and maybe most importantly, despite his dad being a Dallas fan, he is not.

What new territory for me (and Danny)!!! No, this is not an engagement. No, this could or could not be anything significant. But it is still huge -- a demands of us to parent in an area with Lauren we have not before. I think what I would just like to praise God for is that He has shaped my daughter in such a way that it is the CHARACTER of Elliot that drew her to him. And in the same way, she recognizes it must be her character that honors Elliot before God.

No Actors Need Apply

I am yet in another film. This time not as the token Asian female, but as the woman serving alongside my husband, the lunch lady. There was no make-up or acting involved. The Raleigh Rescue Mission (RRM) has a small series of videos on their website spotlighting their work and individuals whose lives have been changed. Danny and I are briefly seen as Mr. and Mrs. Every-Other-Tuesday-Lunch-Man-and-Lunch-Lady.

Let me be perfectly clear: we are CRAZY PASSIONATE about what RRM does. It has far blessed us more than we could bless them. Serving along side my Danny has affirmed for me God's plan for our (and any) marriage to work as a ministry team. But this kind of serving is easy and obvious. I can see God little by little training us and using us as The Dulins and not just incredibly gorgeous, gifted Jacqueline by herself (shocking!!).

The training is not in the slopping of food on the plates or drying the dishes or wiping down the counters. The training is following my husband's lead as he provides a safe environment for me to engage and serve others. His friendly banter with staff and residents loves them well as he slops the food. "Oh, hey there! Now I know you want the meat; you always like the meat." He takes every opportunity to remember them and not just see them as a mass of people going thru the line. He takes opportunity to praise me in front of them and allows a safe opportunity for me to engage in conversation with them, where if I was the "lone female" I might have to be cautious and reserved.

I can see it on their faces when we show up for our two measley Tuesdays a month. They don't light up because of me, they smile because there is that warm-love-you-where-you-are-guy-Danny. And there's definitely no acting involved here.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO!
(don't blink, you might miss us!)

4220 Lucy Long Drive

Maybe you know someone who is dying to move to Harrisonburg
nestled in the Shenandoah Valley.

Here is a link to my parents' house:
www.4220lucylong.com

Random Thoughts

1. Praise God we have a responsible renter in the VA house as of Saturday! A divorced dad who wanted to specifically live near his daughter. He is an Air Force guy and not only does direct deposit with rent, but pays EARLY! Good things come to those who wait on the Lord!!!

2. November marks the beginning of holiday season, and I am feeling the pangs of missing my parents, especially my mom. It seems stupid, but every time I think that I don't have to go to Harrisonburg this year for the holidays and that I WON'T get to buy my mother a Christmas gift (and I truly loved shopping for her), it breaks my heart. I'm so sad at the thought I have no parents for the holidays. Last year I remember how happy my mother was when we brought Christmas dinner with us.

3. I am experiencing 7th grade girls small group fatigue. I have no options EVER to miss a Wednesday night unless I am sick. It is not them, it is me. Last week, all of them knew their memory verse even my autistic girl when I thought maybe only one or two would know it. Each of them were excited about reciting it to me.

4. New friendship -- it is often difficult to find another couple to be a couple friend with. We have been blessed with Will and Linda, who live in our neighborhood. Will is a church planter and Linda a homeschooling mom. Will was also on Danny's soccer team. Anyway, the four of us have really connected and have been spending significant time together. Linda and I also meet on Monday nights, but have become a daily part of each other's lives through email and texts. They are both mature believers and just plain "cool." The blessing has been that we all know this friendship is not accidental and not just about hanging out and having fun. We are all connected by the sense of community Christ calls us to. This is a first of its kind for the Dulins.

5. I got a pair of dark green cords from Old Navy and I love them.

6. My daughter asked for prayer that she would be more obedient to Danny and I. What a blessing a child with a heart that seeks to honor God is --- it humbles me to think of what God has done in her life.

7. My parents' Harrisonburg house goes on the market today. I suspect it won't get bought anytime soon, but its still a weird and bittersweet thought.