Presidents' Day with Fish Tacos

The final part of our California trip ended with us leaving Auntie Oanh, Chi & family on Monday to spend the night at my brother's Tim. He lives in Temecula Valley (45 minutes from San Diego). Although the sun was shining, we were all sad to say good-bye knowing we wouldn't know the next time we'd see each other. Aunie Oanh insisted "You come nex year!"

Our time with Tim and family was short but very relaxing. The sun was hot and conversation was plenty and fun. I had requested Tim make me fish tacos like the last time I was here (3 years ago) and he complied stating that the last time he made them was the last time I had them.

I was sorry not to get pictures of Tim and family, but their water heater busted the night before we arrived and they had been showerless for awhile and I didn't think they'd appreciate me pulling out my camera!

When we said our good-byes to them Michelle (Tim's wife) gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, "So good to see you! He is a great guy; you guys seem so happy!" Indeed :)

The significance of the flight home is it was the first time Danny and I have flown TOGETHER. We have certainly had many experiences at an airport together, but never getting on the plane together. It did not surprise me I liked flying with him just like I like doing anything and everything with him.

On the flight home, I finished "Saving Fish from Drowning" by Amy Tan which was on my 2010 goals of things to do. I didn't enjoy it as much at her other books because it takes considerable brain power to keep all 11 characters and the narrator straight.

We enjoyed our trip, but were so grateful to be home despite the 33 degree weather that greeted us. We will not miss the awful traffic anywhere and everywhere in southern California. We also realized that one of the things we DON'T like about visiting family or friends for a long trip is that we don't actually get time to spend together. Is that a sign of old age? being in love? Or both?

A Tet Fashion Show

The Vietnamese traditional dress, "Áo Dài" (sounds like "ow yigh"), is one of the most elegant and beautiful dresses. It’s very simple, consisting of a close-fitting blouse, with long panels in the front and back, that is worn over loose silk trousers.

Every girl in Vietnam has at least one Áo Dài, they range from not so expensive to very expensive. Because of the long trousers, high heel sandals or shoes are necessary, it makes the girls look taller. The Áo Dài is worn on such special occasions like engagement or wedding ceremonies, contract signing ceremonies or any special event. I wore one of my mother's at her funeral.

One of the goals of my CA trip was for my cousin to take me to a shop to be fitted for an Áo Dài. Although, my mother had several, they were slightly dated and lets be honest wayyyyyy too small for this Ameri-Asian mixed girl!

So as I tried to lose weight before my trip, I ended up gaining it. And the thought of being measured and fitted was not an experience I was looking forward to, especially with my Aunt and little bitty cousin there. I'm not going to get into the specifics, but lets just get it out in the open, my figure is not the "typical" Vietnamese form. Let's just refer to my form as J Lo-esque or even a little junk in the trunk. Heck most Asian girls don't even have a trunk for junk.

So as I was in the shop which was in an all Vietnamese mall in Santa Ana, I was thrown in a situation of a sales lady going in for the kill of the sale with my pint sized aunt arguing and bargaining down the prices. All this while 3 other meek quiet seamstresses are busy sewing away in the back corner.

"You try, you try!" the Saleslady demanded. My cousin had found two dresses that were ready made and once I had them on, it could be determined where they would need to be taken in or out. It was sorta like a Drive by Seamstress. All very efficient and fast.

I knew the issue was not going to be the tops, it would be the pants. Especially when the saleslady handed me a pair that looked like they would fit my ankle.

"Um, I need a larger size." She hands me another size. "Uh, no -- do you have extra large?"
Well, I squeezed in those and it was not a pretty site. These pants although wide leg, were not made for my supple backend. I was not feeling terribly good about myself at this point.
"These pants are too small."

"No, worry! No worry! We fix! We fix! You try dress! You try dress!" The saleslady yelled at me.

I quickly obliged and felt completely out of control. I could hear the frantic Vietnamese bargaining going back and forth between her and my aunt as I tried the tops on. Finally, I came out and they were all inspecting me and looking at what the problem with the pants seemed to be when they discovered, I had the pants on backwards. More humiliation.

Once the pants were put on properly, they were still too snug. This nightmare was not going to end. "No worry, no worry! We make new pant for you! We make new one!" Then I was hoisted out and had 3 of the seamstresses all up in my grill and measuring me and by the time it was all done, I felt like I need a shower as I was just violated by 3 Vietnamese seamstresses all the while the saleslady yelling, "No worry! No worry! We fix! We make!"

Later I found out from my cousin that the shyest most respectable seamstress quietly confirmed in Vietnamese as she wrote my measurements down, "Yes, she has a very big butt."

As if that were not painful enough, there was a drop dead gorgeous TALL skinny Vietnamese woman in the next changing room trying on stuff at the same time. Her issues were the blouses were not tight ENOUGH. I know that there is an occasional moment that I need to be humbled, but really? God must have been having a good laugh. Uggghhhhh.

Three days later, I came back to pick up my dresses and they are gorgeous. This time my loving husband was with me and when he saw me in them his jaw dropped and gave me the perfect reaction to make me proud of my big ole butt! My aunt later said, "You look so pretty! You have sexy butt! Vietnamese have nothing; all flat! See you have no stomach OH! Look so nice!" I love that woman!!!!

Note to self: starve thyself for weeks before going through that experience again!

In the pics below, the blue dress is a "daytime" dress and very traditional. The red/black one is more contemporary and would be worn to formal events. My cousin's formal one is very modern. In any case, I am sure I could stop traffic in both dresses! And btw, I've lost 6 pounds since I've been home. Better give my AMERICAN seamstress a call .......

Tet Idol or Karaoke

The Rose
Born in the USA
Honesty
Celebration
You Needed Me
Angel of the Morning

C'mon. You know, you KNOW these songs. They are perfect karaoke songs and it was a karaoke showdown between Danny and Chi. After the Tet meal, and the dishes were done. It was time to party.

Who knew Chi sang Anne Murray's "You Needed Me" so well? Who knew Danny would fight back with his version of "The Rose." They scored in the high mid-90's each time. I, well, I tore it up only to hit the mid-70's score. Shocker. Hey, I'm model material, not American Idol material.

But I will add, I nailed it and scored 94 on my rendition of Billy Joel's "Honesty." Nice.

Tet Dinner and Eighteen Dollar Lotto!

Like most cultural celebrations on the new year, there is a main feast or dinner. This is no exception on Tet. Like Thanksgiving, you "snack and graze" all day and then you chow down for the main meal. Everyone pitches in and its a time of laughter and busyness and preparation.

Because they did not have a table large enough to fit all of us, we set the "table" on the living room floor. The meal was a type of beef and shrimp fondue in a vinegar broth then rolled in rice paper with leafy veggies and dipped in a pungent fish sauce that will make you grow hair where you don't have it and make the hair you do have fall out! Its one of my favorite dishes and thank God I married a man who loves it too.

One of the special memories was when we all held hands to say grace. Naturally, Danny and I expected Raul (Chi's hubby) to say it as he was the man of the house, but he asked Danny to do it. There was something very meaningful in him acknowledging Danny's personal relationship with God.

After dinner, Raul gave each of us 10 lotto cards to play for good luck. He got 200 of these cards for FREE from the CA lottery. Danny scratched his and won 2 additional card. I scratched mine and won $18!!! Out of the 8 of us, I won the most cash. This of course only affirmed for my aunt that I bring luck because I am her princess.

A Dulin Baby, Uh, I mean Beta

Danny brought Michael and BamBam. I brought Lauren and Bitty. And now we have "Chi-Chi" our newest addition to the Dulin household. He is a bright turquoise beta fish!

My cousin Chi (who the fish is named after) has two in separate bowls or they'd kill each other! (So like males!). At one point I couldn't stand how dirty their water was getting so I cleaned them for her. It was easy and low maintenance. NO fancy fish tank, etc. They breathe by coming up to the surface for air. So easy, so simple!

So last night Danny indulged me and we went to Michael's and I got a large vase, mirror , small vase, and orange, red, and yellow glass pebbles (to match my living room) and VOILA! Beautiful fish bowl! Chi-Chi's blue/green is a nice contrast to the glass pebbles and neither BamBam nor Bitty seemed phased by their new "sibling."

Oh, BTW, update on Bitty: Before our trip she got put on anti-biotics b/c she had a urinary tract infection afterall and seems all better now.

I put the mirror on the bottom and
when he sees his reflection, he gets all riled up
and wants to fight himself!

Dim Sum and Then Some

Danny got to have his first dim sum experience when we went to Chinatown in L.A. If you've never had dim sum, its sorta like a Chinese breakfast version of Spanish tapas. And if you've never had Spanish tapas, well .... you need to get out more. Anyway, this experience has wayyyyy too much shrimp for me although we enjoyed the fried squid (almost like calamari) very much.

The last time I had dim sum musta been about 15 years ago. And I think I'll wait another 15 before I do it again!

A Lucky Citrus Situation

My cousin has a lemon tree and an orange tree in her backyard. This year for some reason, the two trees swapped in what would be normal sizes for their fruits. The oranges were small and the lemons were the size of large oranges if not small grapefruits! I have never seen such big lemons!

In any case, the lemons did indeed make for delicious fresh squeezed lemonade which we enjoyed very much.

On Tet, Danny went out to pick some oranges which turned out to be sweet and juicy. Later when my aunt arrived, she said "What good luck! You are suppose to pick ripe fruit on new year's day and if it is sweet it means more luck. And because Danny didn't know this, this means MORE luck! Danny you bring us luck!"

That is the running theme: LUCK. It was interesting to be around this kind of belief: A little bit of God, a little bit of ancestor worship, a little bit of Virgin Mary and of course a little bit but hopefully a lotta bit of luck on Tet. It was all very Amy Tan.

For Danny and I, we walked a fine line of respectful blessing and thanking God, but joking that I was what brought the luck, because well....... I'm the Princess!

"Migrant" worker Danny



Danny got to pick, and I got to peel.

My cousin with Binky and BooBoo

I confess, I got attached to Binky and
it made missing BamBam easier.

The Peacock Room vs. The Peacock Neighborhood

For those of you who ever visited me when I worked at the Freer and Sackler Galleries, I most likely tried to give you a tour of their most well-known exhibit --- James McNeil Whistler's "The Peacock Room." Most of you will know this American artist by the satire inspired by the painting of his mom sitting in profile.

Anyway, at one time in the history of the Freer, there were actually live peacocks that roamed the inner courtyard until they became too pesty with their calls that sounded like dying racoons and their meanness. The male peacocks are beautiful and that's about it.

Well, who would have known my years working at the Freer and knowing wayyyy too much about peacocks would come in handy on my CA trip. Turns out that there is an aboretum around the corner from my cousin's house that had peacocks. Those peacocks "escaped" and decided to set up residence in the "well to do" neighborhood across the street and have been there since.

They are EVERYWHERE in this neighborhood. In trees, front porches, hanging out in driveways, in the middle of the road. Its both fascinating and completely bizarre. There are signs at the entrance of this community that warn that feeding the peacocks could lead to a fine.

One of the days I dragged my cousin to go walking, we were able to see them up close and personal and they are quite beautiful. Seriously? Only in Southern California......

Tet and the Year of the Tiger

Danny and I just came back from our trip to California where we stayed with my cousin Chi and her family in Arcadia (20 minutes from Pasadena -- 40 minutes with traffic). I flew out early and then Danny came in a couple of days later. We left the cold and snow of the east coast to be greeted by sunshine and 70 degree temps. NICE!

Tet (the Vietnamese New Year) is the same day as the Chinese New Year but for the rest of you gringos it landed on Valentines Day this year. There is one word to sum up our trip: FOOD. Lets just say I never lost the 7 pounds I wanted to BEFORE the trip and then proceeded to gain an additional 3 while I was there.

I've never ingested so many carbs and so little veggies, I am sure my body went into shock. But my mouth and tongue seemed quite content.

I have many stories to share about our experience and will be posting them as I remember, because many are funny and meaningful to me. This year was especially meaningful because of my mother's passing. I know my cousin and my aunt both "felt closer" to my mom because I was there.

If you've never been to this part of southern California, let me tell you --- it really IS like being in another country. At one point, I said to my cousin, "I didn't know I'd needed a passport." EVERYONE is Asian. But its very specific. In Arcadia, they are Taiwanese, in Alhambra they are Chinese and Chinese-Vietnamese. That is to stay they are Chinese who lived in Vietnam and can speak Vietnamese but are NOT Vietnamese. Who knew? Then of course there's Santa Ana, which is all Vietnamese. Everything reflects which ever Asian culture is dominant. And for the rest of us half breeds and non-Asians, they kindly put English translations in small type.

When Danny arrived, I said "You're the first white person I've seen in days."

Below are pix from my first couple of days. I literally put my bags down and we began preparing and cooking Vietnamese dumplings and of course consuming them.

My mom's older sister, my Auntie Oanh (sounds like "one").
She calls me her "Princess."

I make a mean dumpling!

These can be boiled or fried. I seemed to gravitate toward the fried ones.

In addition to cooking, Auntie Oanh crocheted me 2 scarfs.
My cousin Chi also made me one while I was there.
Considering the weather was 77 degrees there
and 32 degrees in Raleigh,
they are much more useful here.

I asked my cousin to crochet a bunch of little circles and then
string them together to make one long scarf.
She thought I was crazy and thought the scarf was ugly but I loved it.
While doing it though, she complained incessantly
about how awful the yarn was to see
and she'd never do another one for me again.

What to do with Bitty

Okay, I'll just be frank. Bitty was suppose to die almost 18 months ago. But she lives. She seems fairly normal. She has a good appetite, is still social, cuddly and snuggly (okay, only with me) and "hangs out" with the family. She is still on pregnazone (SP?) and if I never told you, you wouldn't know she was 13 yrs old and got some form of leukemia.

So what's the problem? She has been occasionally peeing OUTSIDE of her cat box for the last 8 months. Its sparadic. There's no rhyme or reason. And we've done all the things the vet suggests ---- making sure the cat box is clean. Getting more than one cat box --- yeah, she actually has FOUR to chose from. And its not like she doesn't use them, she just likes to go elsewhere in the house too.

We have now confined her to the storage room where her cat boxes are because we don't trust her not to pee somewhere else in the house. What kind of quality of life can this be? Yes, she has a nice warm bed and the room is large enough, but I can't stand the thought of locking her up in there until she dies ---- which was as I mentioned earlier was suppose to be 18 months ago.

I don't want to put her down because I can't emotionally handle making that decision. She isn't acting "sick" -- she's just destroying my carpet with her pee and the vet doesn't have any answers.

How do I try and give her away? Danny has suggested finding her a home with someone who has a "farm" where she can live outside, but I think she'd get in some sort of accident.

I have spent A LOT of cash on this cat in the past 13 years. I'm not interested in replacing my carpet because of her.

The SPCA is very strict about taking in animals you want to give up. They must be "adoptable" blah blah blah. And how do I say, "Yeah, she is 13 and might live for another couple of years but was suppose to die like 18 months ago...." ????

ANY SUGGESTIONS???