Past, Present and Future

The Past
This past weekend Danny, Michael and I headed to VA to wrap things up (again) at my parents' house. It was particularly difficult emotionally for me this time as I saw less and less of things that were a part of my parents' lives. Once the house is sold, I will have no physical location to go to or visit that is theirs. My theology teaches me that a house or a grave or a urn is not what a person's life represents nor is it where I can somehow be closer to them once they are gone. The fear is just this -- that the memories I have in my head and heart will not be faithful to me. I will forget. Things will fade. I am afraid that all record of the two people that God chose to bring me into this world will be gone. I find the thought of me being the last "thing" that remains of them (I am the only blood child they share). Is there more Jack or Yen in me?

After a long day of weeding through things, etc. we were blessed enough to go over to my friend Lisa's home/farm for dinner. What a wonderful treat! Her daughter McKenzie took me for a ride on their 4 wheeler and we talked about the steer/cow called "dinner" they were raising. We also got a full lesson on breeding, raising and showing lambs. Lisa and I go wayyyy back. In fact, her mother was the realtor who sold my parents' their property in Harrisonburg. She was also instrumental in my last trip there where she took time off, organized Habitat for Humanity pick-ups and just plain cleaned. We lost our fathers within a couple of months of each other and I remember that first year we had a real need to connect on the "firsts" -- first Thanksgiving, first Christmas.... Thanks Lisa, your friendship is a blessing.

The Present
This week has seemed non-stop. Wednesday was Lauren's first time at the Raleigh Rescue Mission. She is an instructional aid/tutor for a GED class. It was a humbling experience for her (yay! Victory for Mom!!). She ended up being assigned to a specific middle-aged woman who's reading was "remedial" --- Lauren said she was grateful to help her and not have to be a math tutor. She also said she wouldn't just let her read the prompts but would ask her questions afterwords to make sure "her student" was comprehending. I could tell this made a huge impact on her because she was getting what it means to serve -- not because WE are wonderful, but because of WHO Christ is in our lives.

While Lauren was in the classroom, I was in a hairnet/bonnet prepping for dinner. This was a different experience then when Danny and I serve lunch. I was actually prepping. I cut up 8 pinneapples, 20 apples, made 40 pieces of garlic toast, gallons upon gallons of ice tea ...... It was hard work!!! (Do you hear the slight whine...?)

The Future
Wednesday night was the fall kick off of church activities. Danny, Michael and Lauren all headed to the senior high groups and I (with much insecurity and trembling) headed over to the middle school area. I was grateful to know one of the 7th grade girls --- her mother is in my Sunday School class and was in my small group last year. I won't go through all the gory details although by the time the night was over I was truly pumped and energized and exhausted all at once. As of now I have eight 7th grade girls in my group. They were all so different and the same. So much talking. SO much talking. I LOVE THEM! My main goal was to establish who was in charge of our group -- ME. There are 2 in particular who are dominant personalities and if I don't let them know who is boss, they will run all over me and the other girls.

Before our time was started, I said I wanted to open us up in prayer and asked who would like to close. No one was interested. "After I pray, can someone just say 'in Jesus name, Amen'?" No takers. So finally, I volunteered one of the girls because I knew her father is the children's pastor. By the time our evening ended I wanted to pray again for their week and send them off, I again asked for someone to close us out after I prayed. Six or seven hands shot up and there were several "Me! Me! I want to do it!" I was floored.

During our time, I made sure I got everyone's "digits" and they got mine. We spent a good portion of time also taking pictures of each other so we had a name to a face and number. They were all terribly troubled that I did not have texting but said they could deal with actually calling or emailing. So my task for them this week was for each of them to contact me. They need to either call me or email me to just say hi. On they way home, one of my "dominant" girls called and said, "Hi! Am I the first one to call?!"

You will be reading many a posts about them. I am really feeling this is God's calling for me. I feel like I just had birth to 8 girls and the mother/mentor instinct is in full throttle. Those of you in ministry or actively serve using your God given gifts know that when you are serving in an area God's designed you to, you flourish. That's exactly how I feel. I am completely aware of the opportunity God has given me to love these girls in this time in their lives one step closer to Jesus. I also am ready to be with these girls beyond 7th and 8th grade. The ideal scenario is to follow them through all the way to graduating high school. They are the next generation of women. I am so excited and scared at the same time!

Or maybe I'm so pathetic that the truth is I never matured beyond a 7th grade girl and that's why this is so exciting ...... ? Zoe says I'm always complaining about having no friends in Raleigh and I've finally found myself a clique.

Define & Explain again...?

I am embarassed to say this, but I'm not sure I totally understand "socialism." Can someone tell me again why "socialism" is so evil? Please explain to me again why as a conservative Christian the idea of socialism should strike fear in my heart?

I am not being sarcastic (for once). I welcome thoughtful comments.

Sand in my ears

Perhaps I am in denial, but my life is ramping up to be quite full starting next week. I'm not sure how it got this way, but I hope I don't become one of those people who spreads themselves too thin.




Sunday:

• Church + Sunday School class, home by 1.
• Day of nap and now football

Monday:

• Painting class 9:30- 12:30
• Bible study with 2 neighbors 7 - 9 pm (trial run for 4 weeks)

Tuesday:

• Every 1st and 3rd, serving lunch at Raleigh Rescue Mission 11 - 1
• 2nd and 4th - Danny comes home for lunch

Wednesday:

• Raleigh Rescue Mission 2:30 - 4 (Lauren tutoring, me doing dinner prep work)
• Church 6:30 - 8 -- small group leader for 7th grade girls (YIKES!!!!)

Thursday:

• Community Bible Study 9:15 - 11:15 (all year)

Friday:

• Danny home for lunch

This doesn't include the time I will try to carve out for walking the dog, the gym, quiet time, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, and other household duties as assigned. Oh, and being taxi for the kids. I should also mention I am starting to do freelance design work again. Gee, maybe I should consider home schooling to really push me over the edge . . .

And no, Ginger, I am not trying to highlight how "serving-ish" I am. I am very excited about all this stuff. Other than the whole God using it to mold and shape my character (me, need molding and shaping??!!), I think there is great upcoming material for blog entries.....