The step family or "blended" family was not part of God's original design. And despite our abilities to destroy the family unit as God intended throughout human history, He is still faithful and compassionate and provides.
This is going to be a challenging post to write. Its got more drama than I care to share and its got more layers of God's handiwork than I have room to write. Here goes....
We are in the season of parenting "adult" children. That seems like an oxymoron, because even though they are in many ways adults, they still invariably behave like morons. Empty nesting has its own challenges folks.
I have seen my daughter grow in ways spiritually I could not have at her age. We have conversations about spiritual matters that are mature and significant and relevant. I am grateful this daughter of mine, is also a daughter of God. HOWEVER..... Yeah, here's the "however" part.....She is also a young woman. As such, like the rest of us women, she is wired to desire the attentions of a man. This desire is not wrong and is perfectly natural. That is how God created her. But He created her (and women) this way to first look to Him for complete value and purpose first, and then to use it to prepare her to be wife. Are you still with me?
During our time at the beach, we immediately notice Lauren was very preoccupied and doing A LOT of texting. Not terribly unusual, but enough to get our attention. As it turns out, she was entertaining the attentions of a young man (Male "friend") she had recently met in Raleigh at a convention. I was ready to be all Yen Snead about it and pounce. I had little patience for what was revealing itself as a foolish situation. And who are we kidding, my past can verify that I'm an EXPERT at putting myself in foolish situations with men so I can smell it from a mile away.
Danny, on the other hand, always has a soft spot in his heart for Lauren. He will always give her the benefit of the doubt. He will always communicate with her in ways that don't push her buttons and he will always let her know he loves her and will endure nothing short of death itself to protect her. He is sneaky that way.
The details of the situation were revealed the first night at the beach at dinner. Yes, there was a young man she was corresponding with. They were "just friends." And the reason they were "just friends" was because he wasn't a Christian and she had told him she didn't date non-Christians.
As I stuffed my face with crab, I listened to her tell us about her Male "friend" and how she knew what she was doing and it was "no big deal" and and and and ... I wanted to reach over and smack upside the head with my crab cracker. But my husband was calm and he continued to provide an environment that let my daughter's heart feel safe. Before dinner was done, we found out that this young man lived about an hour from where we were staying at the beach and she wanted permission to see him while we were at the beach.
Danny agreed she could spend some time with him but only under Danny's conditions. Those conditions were as follows:
Lauren, with a good attitude agreed easily submitted to all the conditions. Oh, and one more small detail, this young man was 27. Because you know, we all know that it is perfectly reasonable for a 27 year old male to want to be "just friends" with a 19 year old girl.
- Male "friend" may see her only at our beach house.
- Male "friend" may come on Wednesday between the hours of noon to 5pm
- Male "friend" and Lauren are permitted to ONLY hang out in our beach area next to our house where Danny could observe them at all times.
- Male "friend" and Lauren are NOT permitted to leave the premises. No long walks along the beach, etc.
- Male "friend" can expect to have a private conversation with former Marine and retired Army officer step dad before his visit is over.
It was interesting what God did as Danny and I prayed and sought Him in the days before Male "friend" arrived. There wasn't awkwardness between Lauren and us. In fact, her heart was quite warm and tender. All the while I had to resist my overwhelming need to take "control" of the situation and "nip" it in the bud and deliver a full on powerpoint presentation about all the ways this was NOT God's man for her. Yes, yes, yes, good graphics and God's Word always do the trick.
Amazingly enough the Holy Spirit's quiet and gentle encouragement was this:
"Please be quiet. You do not have to be mother AND father anymore. You just have to be mother and right now, Lauren needs a father. So kindly continue praying for wisdom for yourself and Danny, but please get out of the way and trust God to do His work through your fearless leader."
"But...!" I would respond.
"NO. Stop. Your 'brilliant' parenting skills are really NOT needed here. Go be still and know that I am God," was the answer. And so, just as my daughter submitted to Danny's conditions, I had to submit to my own Father's conditions.
The rest of this story to come........
