My BamBam, My Puppy

This is the post I have avoided writing for days. It will make me cry, again. It might make you cry.

Last Saturday, March 12, 2011 we had to make the decision to put BamBam to sleep. We knew the decision was inevitable, but we thought we had a couple of good weeks left with him. We had just had a really good couple of days.

So much happened so quickly and I struggle with recording all the details. It doesn't matter whether the details are put to words here I guess, my memory and Danny's won't forget the ordeal and emotional roller coaster we experienced in the last two weeks with our "baby."

To say that I am heartbroken is an understatement. To say I am grieving and depressed seems over-the-top, but there hasn't been a day since we said good bye that I have not cried over his absence.

This week is difficult. The house is screaming with silence and the lack of familiar and expected sounds of BamBam. I am lost and lonely in my own home.

There's a familiar song you will know the tune to from your childhood. Its "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands!" It was my song for BamBam and he loved it when I sang it to him. Of course the words were different.

There's a puppy in my house that I love!

There's a puppy in my house that I love!

There's a puppy in my house

that I love very much.

There's a puppy in my house that I love!

I sang it to him holding back tears for the last time last Saturday. By then he was completely blind, had suffered two seizures, but knew my voice. He wagged his tail, and welcomed my love. I hope it comforted him. I hope in the confusion of those last hours, he knew that his Mommy and Daddy wanted nothing more than to hold him and love him.

BamBam

October 2004 - March 2011