Merry Christmas 2010

For every friend and loved one who reads our blog, Merry Christmas. Thanks for being a part of our lives whether close or far away. May you know the love of Christ every day, not just during the holidays.

Christmas Prep

Well, its been a busy but somewhat laid back week. Michael arrived Tuesday night. Danny has been off since Wednesday. I started my Christmas dinner prep Monday and am "on top of things."
Christmas dinner for us is the Thanksgiving dinner I don't get to prepare. This year I've got a 20 lb. turkey I affectionately call "the 20 pound toddler" (I know sick mind).

Thanks to the encouragement and culinary instructions of my friend Catrina (who had much success with her 23 lb turkey at Thanksgiving), I will be brining my bird overnight with homemade veggie stock.

I'm looking forward to my favorite cornbread chestnut dressing too. Our dinner table includes another couple who lives a couple houses down -- Lourie and Preston. They are like family and she is bringing the sweet potato casserole.

Danny is on his way taking BamBam for a bath. Lauren is primping. Michael is preparing taco dinner (he chose to cook and Lauren will do the clean up).

Last night we all went to see the movie "Megamind" and then out to dinner at Carrabba's. While there, we had the waiter bring out a dessert with a candle for Michael and sang him happy birthday. (BTW -- skip the movie, its not worth even renting).

Tonight we'll head to a Christmas Eve service and then head home for Michael's taco dinner.

I miss my parents.
I love Christmas.
I love the husband God provided me with to share all my Christmases from now on.
I love my life.
I love my children.
I love my friends (the ones who really qualify).
I love there is a season that we can celebrate our Saviour's birth.
I love that God is a gift giver.
And that He made me one too :)

Merry Christmas Eve :)

Wrestling Over the Gray

You've seen her. The middle-aged woman still trying to appear as if she were in her lates 20's. Its painful and sad. No matter how great her figure still is, or how pretty her hair is, her face will tell it like it is.
She is to a certain extent still "attractive" but because she is trying so hard to maintain it, it is painfully unattractive.

This post is about vanity. My vanity.
This post is about the struggle of aging; losing my youth.
This post is about my heart embracing the fact that I am a middle-aged woman.

This post is not a criticism of your vanity or your thoughts of how you deal with these issues, so in no way is it a commentary on your personal journey. (I'll leave my judgemental thoughts between me and God :)

To gray or not to gray, that is the question. Or perhaps the question is to fight the gray or not to fight the gray. To age appropriately or resist it at all costs.

I have always said that I would not start dying my hair until after I was 40. Well, I'm 40.5 and the grays are winning the battle of taking over. There are strands that are literally "striped" from starting out brown, turning gray, fighting back and partially brown and finally giving up and succumbing to the gray. Even though on the surface it doesn't look like I'm graying, when I put my hair in a ponytail or up, there are very obvious dense "patches" of grays visible. Plucking a few here or there is no longer a viable option. There's just too much of it.

I hate that my heart has struggled with this issue because I have always wanted to age gracefully. I understand that at 40.5 I am NOT old, but at 40.5 I am also not "young" anymore.

I am fortunate to have great Asian genes which helps me looking like a young 40.5 (thank you God and Yen Snead), but I was in denial of how far those genes were going to take me. This may seem silly to many of you and in the whole scheme of a broken and hurting world, its ridiculous to even discuss this.

But here I am ...... with a lot of gray hairs peeping through. Should I or shouldn't I? I've decided with no. I've decided to let the gray creep in more and more and as I age and the grays display themselves with confidence, I will walk with confidence knowing I've now chosen to embrace my age, stage of life, and that I am who I am in significance and beauty because of Christ. Cliche, but nonetheless full of truth to live by.

I am sensing a lot of freedom and peace as I have finally decided I don't need to "maintain" or try and compete with 30-somethings (as if I could). I believe strongly I have a responsibility (and natural desire) to keep myself attractive for my hubby. HOWEVER, I relinquish the desire to try effortlessly to regain the youth I once had and to no longer mourn the passing of my youth. In fact, to mark this new found freedom, I got 3 inches cut off my hair. Longish hair is fine, but lonnnnnggggggggg hair even if I could get away with it is no longer needed or appropriate.

"Hello, my name is Jacqueline and I am officially (and happily) middle-aged."