Big Sister, Big Influence

As some of you might remember, I meet weekly with a young lady I call "Kim." (See this post for the back story.) Well, I have spent lots of time with her since that post and we are fast friends, if not more like little sister and big sister.

Yesterday, I picked her up and she spent the day at my place ..... like 8 hours. I enjoy hanging out with her, but usually after about 4 hours or so I am exhausted. Why? It takes a considerable amount of mental and emotional effort to be engaged with her, mostly to explain "life" and how it works.

Simple conversations cannot be taken for granted. What does compassionate mean? What does grateful mean? How do you explain thankful? How do you explain how a mortgage works? How do you explain why I don't need to hang out with "guy friends" now that I am married? All this to a young lady that lives a large part of her life in fear because she knows she's "slow" or "different" and because she just doesn't understand life and how the world works.
Don't get me wrong ...... I love my time with her. She is a joy. But I have a new appreciation for parents of children/adults with mental disabilities or even children with emotional issues. This doesn't even compare to what they might experience. We have a lot of fun together.

"Kim" is in a state of big sister Jacqueline worship. You would think I'd like this, but it makes me increasingly uncomfortable because I know that I must be very careful in how I influence her. She wants the same car I have. But did she want a Toyota Corolla before or after she knew me? She likes how I dress and thinks everything I do is great. She wants to live in my neighborhood and wants to buy a townhouse just like mine.....

There is great responsibility here. I know that my words and actions could sway her in the direction of good or bad (whether intentionally or not). I am praying for wisdom from God as He has created a situation I was not prepared for. This is different than training a child, because she is not a child or my child and I need to treat her as an equal, an adult.

What started out as something that was slightly out of my comfort zone and fun, has turned into a situation I feel a great responsibility for -- I am not complaining. I marvel at the hand of God.

Remember, she is Chinese and was adopted by an American father and Iranian mom. Although she is Chinese, she has been raised Muslim. But she is definitely American in lifestyle.

I love that God is not random. I love that God has assigned her to me to sanctify me. I love that what I expected to be an occasional fun outting has turned into a humbling relationship that requires me to depend on Him because I am accountable to Him.